May 31, 2016 at 10:21 am
Is SQL Fertilization the reason we have so much code and practices that look like feces?
May 31, 2016 at 10:33 am
Luis Cazares (5/31/2016)
Is SQL Fertilization the reason we have so much code and practices that look like feces?
You know, I have a comment I could make on what it is, but it's so bad and potentially offensive, I'm just going to keep it to myself...
May 31, 2016 at 10:45 am
Because SQL Fertilization needs to become something we all talk about. It's important. Don't you understand how SQL Fertilization works?
----------------------------------------------------The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena, whose face is marred by dust and sweat and blood... Theodore RooseveltThe Scary DBAAuthor of: SQL Server 2017 Query Performance Tuning, 5th Edition and SQL Server Execution Plans, 3rd EditionProduct Evangelist for Red Gate Software
May 31, 2016 at 10:49 am
Grant Fritchey (5/31/2016)
Because SQL Fertilization needs to become something we all talk about. It's important. Don't you understand how SQL Fertilization works?
I am pretty sure this is the process by how MS adds new features in their latest versions.
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Understanding and Using APPLY (Part 2) - http://www.sqlservercentral.com/articles/APPLY/69954/
May 31, 2016 at 10:51 am
Luis Cazares (5/31/2016)
Is SQL Fertilization the reason we have so much code and practices that look like feces?
In the beginning there was SQL Server.
God said 'Let there be light'.
Click!
And there was NoSql.
pzzzzt!
The bulb blew.
Far away is close at hand in the images of elsewhere.
Anon.
May 31, 2016 at 11:35 am
Sean Lange (5/31/2016)
Grant Fritchey (5/31/2016)
Because SQL Fertilization needs to become something we all talk about. It's important. Don't you understand how SQL Fertilization works?I am pretty sure this is the process by how MS adds new features in their latest versions.
Or the process by which people presuming to understand SQL Server write blogs, articles, and thread responses pollenating various SQL myths across the interwebs.
May 31, 2016 at 11:45 am
Grant Fritchey (5/31/2016)
Because SQL Fertilization needs to become something we all talk about. It's important. Don't you understand how SQL Fertilization works?
I have to say a lot of people have been asking this question. No, really. A lot of people come up to me and they ask me. They say, ‘What’s SQL fertilization’? And I tell them look, we know what SQL fertilization is. We’ve had almost eight years of the worst kind of SQL you can imagine. Oh my God, I can’t believe it.
Look, if you want to know what SQL fertilization is, do you want to know what SQL fertilization is? I’ll tell you. First of all SQL, by the way, I love SQL. It’s probably my favorite language, no it is my favorite language. You know what, it’s probably more like a language but with a lot of languages using it. A lot.
So, we have all these languages, and we can write them and read them and write them. DEBUG them even. Did you know that? We can debug them OR rewrite them, they don’t tell you that, and I’ll tell you, no one is better at the features implementation than me. You wouldn’t believe it. So, we’re gonna be the best on SQL fertilization, believe me. I tell you that we have a foolproof plan to implement SQL fertilization . And that's why we're going to be the best at SQL fertilization. #MakeSQLGreatAgain
May 31, 2016 at 11:47 am
Luis Cazares (5/31/2016)
Grant Fritchey (5/31/2016)
Because SQL Fertilization needs to become something we all talk about. It's important. Don't you understand how SQL Fertilization works?I have to say a lot of people have been asking this question. No, really. A lot of people come up to me and they ask me. They say, ‘What’s SQL fertilization’? And I tell them look, we know what SQL fertilization is. We’ve had almost eight years of the worst kind of SQL you can imagine. Oh my God, I can’t believe it.
Look, if you want to know what SQL fertilization is, do you want to know what SQL fertilization is? I’ll tell you. First of all SQL, by the way, I love SQL. It’s probably my favorite language, no it is my favorite language. You know what, it’s probably more like a language but with a lot of languages using it. A lot.
So, we have all these languages, and we can write them and read them and write them. DEBUG them even. Did you know that? We can debug them OR rewrite them, they don’t tell you that, and I’ll tell you, no one is better at the features implementation than me. You wouldn’t believe it. So, we’re gonna be the best on SQL fertilization, believe me. I tell you that we have a foolproof plan to implement SQL fertilization . And that's why we're going to be the best at SQL fertilization. #MakeSQLGreatAgain
Thanks for the post. 😉
_______________________________________________________________
Need help? Help us help you.
Read the article at http://www.sqlservercentral.com/articles/Best+Practices/61537/ for best practices on asking questions.
Need to split a string? Try Jeff Modens splitter http://www.sqlservercentral.com/articles/Tally+Table/72993/.
Cross Tabs and Pivots, Part 1 – Converting Rows to Columns - http://www.sqlservercentral.com/articles/T-SQL/63681/
Cross Tabs and Pivots, Part 2 - Dynamic Cross Tabs - http://www.sqlservercentral.com/articles/Crosstab/65048/
Understanding and Using APPLY (Part 1) - http://www.sqlservercentral.com/articles/APPLY/69953/
Understanding and Using APPLY (Part 2) - http://www.sqlservercentral.com/articles/APPLY/69954/
May 31, 2016 at 11:49 am
Luis Cazares (5/31/2016)
Grant Fritchey (5/31/2016)
Because SQL Fertilization needs to become something we all talk about. It's important. Don't you understand how SQL Fertilization works?I have to say a lot of people have been asking this question. No, really. A lot of people come up to me and they ask me. They say, ‘What’s SQL fertilization’? And I tell them look, we know what SQL fertilization is. We’ve had almost eight years of the worst kind of SQL you can imagine. Oh my God, I can’t believe it.
Look, if you want to know what SQL fertilization is, do you want to know what SQL fertilization is? I’ll tell you. First of all SQL, by the way, I love SQL. It’s probably my favorite language, no it is my favorite language. You know what, it’s probably more like a language but with a lot of languages using it. A lot.
So, we have all these languages, and we can write them and read them and write them. DEBUG them even. Did you know that? We can debug them OR rewrite them, they don’t tell you that, and I’ll tell you, no one is better at the features implementation than me. You wouldn’t believe it. So, we’re gonna be the best on SQL fertilization, believe me. I tell you that we have a foolproof plan to implement SQL fertilization . And that's why we're going to be the best at SQL fertilization. #MakeSQLGreatAgain
meh...
May 31, 2016 at 6:00 pm
May 31, 2016 at 8:25 pm
Steve Jones - SSC Editor (5/31/2016)
New sample db: https://github.com/Microsoft/sql-server-samples/blob/jodebrui/samples/databases/wide-world-importers/documentation/root.md
And I intend to start messing with it as soon as I get the new bits installed tomorrow.
----------------------------------------------------The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena, whose face is marred by dust and sweat and blood... Theodore RooseveltThe Scary DBAAuthor of: SQL Server 2017 Query Performance Tuning, 5th Edition and SQL Server Execution Plans, 3rd EditionProduct Evangelist for Red Gate Software
May 31, 2016 at 9:24 pm
Luis Cazares (5/31/2016)
Grant Fritchey (5/31/2016)
Because SQL Fertilization needs to become something we all talk about. It's important. Don't you understand how SQL Fertilization works?I have to say a lot of people have been asking this question. No, really. A lot of people come up to me and they ask me. They say, ‘What’s SQL fertilization’? And I tell them look, we know what SQL fertilization is. We’ve had almost eight years of the worst kind of SQL you can imagine. Oh my God, I can’t believe it.
Look, if you want to know what SQL fertilization is, do you want to know what SQL fertilization is? I’ll tell you. First of all SQL, by the way, I love SQL. It’s probably my favorite language, no it is my favorite language. You know what, it’s probably more like a language but with a lot of languages using it. A lot.
So, we have all these languages, and we can write them and read them and write them. DEBUG them even. Did you know that? We can debug them OR rewrite them, they don’t tell you that, and I’ll tell you, no one is better at the features implementation than me. You wouldn’t believe it. So, we’re gonna be the best on SQL fertilization, believe me. I tell you that we have a foolproof plan to implement SQL fertilization . And that's why we're going to be the best at SQL fertilization. #MakeSQLGreatAgain
I have to admit, I read that fellow's parody posts and laughed my butt off. As soon as I find it, I'll be able to sit comfortably again.
--Jeff Moden
June 1, 2016 at 7:23 am
I have to admit that I have seen very little spam over the last several days. I am guessing that Steve and the team either got something else in place or the idiots decided to move on. That isn't to say it is all gone, and probably never will be. But it is nice to have our little corner of the interwebs back again. 😀
_______________________________________________________________
Need help? Help us help you.
Read the article at http://www.sqlservercentral.com/articles/Best+Practices/61537/ for best practices on asking questions.
Need to split a string? Try Jeff Modens splitter http://www.sqlservercentral.com/articles/Tally+Table/72993/.
Cross Tabs and Pivots, Part 1 – Converting Rows to Columns - http://www.sqlservercentral.com/articles/T-SQL/63681/
Cross Tabs and Pivots, Part 2 - Dynamic Cross Tabs - http://www.sqlservercentral.com/articles/Crosstab/65048/
Understanding and Using APPLY (Part 1) - http://www.sqlservercentral.com/articles/APPLY/69953/
Understanding and Using APPLY (Part 2) - http://www.sqlservercentral.com/articles/APPLY/69954/
June 1, 2016 at 7:24 am
Christmas in June!!!
The purchase of some Red Gate tools finally got approved by my boss. 😀
Feels like I've been begging forever. I'm not trying to promote those tools over any other ones mind you. However, I will say that the tools I did demo were very intuitive and I was able to put them to good use right away.
In retrospect, not having some of these types of tools at first probably helped me in the long run though. Had to learn to do some things the old fashioned way. lol
June 1, 2016 at 7:30 am
I am having the worst time today reaching the forums via Internet Explorer. It just hangs and hangs.
Anyway, has anyone heard about the latest data breach? I know I'm not affected. I do hope no one here is.
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