Hopelessly inefficient but I've always had a soft spot for this as a quirky solution to the problem:

SELECT [Month] = DATENAME(mm,SomeDateTime)

...

I don't believe that is Joe's stance. Note also he has rewritten the UDF as a single statement but not used inline function syntax, so the benefit of the rewrite...

The sp retrieves nothing; its scope does not extend beyond the database. Think of it like the interface of an object, where the database is the object and the sp...

I'll confess that I can't just say "oh, do x, y and z" when it comes to client side coding but I can usually muddle through when I need to.

You...

In terms of comparing the two, easiest method is to isolate the SQL within each function and test the two side by side (by this I mean take the guts...

This can be done in SQL, but note that the result is no longer a number. You would be best served doing this in your presentation layer. To return a...

Invaluable tip re. last 10 posts - wish it was expanded by default!

I too have written things like this, and I would not suggest that it is wrong regardless of...

I hope you understand I am attempting to guide you towards better practice and am not trolling. After that you can take what I say on board or disregard.

The fact...

rootfixxxer (10/22/2010)

I need this, because it's necessary...

<snip>i can set the name of the columns in the application that will use it, but if i set everything in the sp i...

Only with dynamic SQL. Why? Because this is something SQL is not designed to do. Why? Because it shouldn't do this.

A stored procedure has a contract with the consumers of...

I mean reinstall from the operating system upwards. I have just been stung too many times when I have installed then uninstalled then upgraded etc. etc.. I like to start...

A named instance is not that big a hassle - why do you think it is?

If you are determined to have only a single instance, this is a dedicated dev...

Yup. You are running SSMS 2008 R2 client tools but connecting to a SQL Server 2005 instance.

So really we are back to the advice in my first post 🙂

It can't get any larger than the disk array(s) it is placed on.

In SSMS click Help -> About and post the Version for Microsoft SQL Server Management Studio.

I suspect you are using SSMS 2008 R2 but are connecting to a SQL Server...