I started to add a daily coping tip to the SQLServerCentral newsletter and to the Community Circle, which is helping me deal with the issues in the world. I’m adding my responses for each day here. All my coping tips are under this tag.
Today’s tip is to listen wholeheartedly to others without judging them.
This is similar to a few tips across the last year, and for me, it’s one I’ve been working on. As I find myself hearing someone else complain or cheer or anything, I’m trying to let the words and feelings wash over me and avoid judging or projecting my own feelings onto them.
I’ve had some success, but I still need to remind myself of this. Without disclosing names, I was listening to someone tell be about their success with finances and work this year. Rather than compare myself, or view them as a bit arrogant, I cheered on their success in my mind. It’s hard to not compare or examine how I feel I’ve done this year against them, but I was working to limit this to a “could I do better” than a I or them was more successful.
I think I did this well internally. Externally, I just congratulated them and listened to their joy, feeling good for them.
I had another friend who is having a hard time in life and getting together with others. My initial thought was that some of their complaints are self-created, but I worked to stop myself from judging them and instead just listening and providing the support and sympathy I can. No advice, no suggestions, nothing but “I’m here for you.”