Burnt Out
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I don't get stressed out over work as much as I used to for a couple of reasons.
The first being that I am enjoying what I am doing and I am forcing myself to break out of the government-office mentality (after being there for 12 years) When things are going slow, you find other things to do that may not be work related. Government offices are not conducive to an efficient or uplifting environment - especially when the office politics would be rated between high & pathological. Now I am often reminding myself to not get distracted from what I am trying to achieve and the company I now work for has really opened my eyes to what is possible (even if I do have to fight for every penny I want in the budget).
I very rarely take holidays either. Usually my holidays have consisted of taking time off to work somewhere else (usually voluntary and never IT related. Most times it's been as a motorsport official at Indy on the Gold Coast or something like that....)
I think what keeps me sane now is that when I leave work - work stays at work and then I deal with my personal life (of which I have none anyway due to me being single - no ex's - no kids - not many mates around the place). Been very much a loner for most of my life and that is what I'm used to but I am looking to change that.
As it stands now, I am not home for 6 nights of the week and only turn up to sleep - a combination of training in martial arts on some nights and Latin American dancing on others.
I don't know what I will do if I happen to find a partner somewhere (unlikely) unless she is into the dancing as I have given up everything in the past to show a woman that I was dedicated to the 'cause' and that still got me nowhere.
The only thing that really causes stress in my life now is the fact that I will not treat a woman any way other than as a lady. With respect and honour and value her opinions and beliefs. The stress comes into it when the realisation hits that this is *not* what (many) women want - but rather a bloke who will slap them around and treat them like a common wh*re.
Excuse the way I put it but this eventuality has repeated itself time and time and time again in my life and I don't think it will change unless I learn to punch a few in the mouth (and that is unlikely to happen).
So... when burnout happens - I just throw myself into other things. Go for a drive down to Sydney or Melbourne and see a bit more of the place and visit friends.
A lack of planning on your part does not constitute an emergency on mine.
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If you have interests outside of work one fun thing you might do which really changed my life is join http://www.meetup.com. I used to be a loner and still am somewhat but not as much but now I have people to have fun with. Best of all meetup is free unless you organize a group. Note I dont work for meetup but I organize three meetup groups in the Philadelphia area.
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http://www.meetup.com will probably not work for me considering that I'm on a different continent in the other hemisphere of the planet....
A lack of planning on your part does not constitute an emergency on mine.
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Meetup is worldwide.
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Some DBA I am if I go and post comments about something when I don't check me facts first....
A lack of planning on your part does not constitute an emergency on mine.
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My father worked hard all his life, and found time for his many hobbies. He was looking forward when he retired to spending a bit more time on them, entomology, mathematics (he was a systematist, see http://links.jstor.org/sici?sici=0039-7989(197706)26%3A2%3C218%3ATUECC%3E2.0.CO%3B2-Z 
and genealogy. Sadly, within a couple of years of moving back to his birthplace on the island of Jersey, he went blind. Although this didn't stop him writing to further books on family history (he wrote himself a french-character word-processor in 6502 assembly language which only used combinations of keys around the edge of the keyboard), his quality of life was much reduced.This made me ask myself, what am I working for, and am i doing the things in life that i want to do? There is no point slaving all your life to save for your retirement, because it may not happen. Use the proceeds of your labour to get out and do those things you have always wanted to do while you have the health to enjoy them.
I happen to enjoy my work, even though I am also a one man band in a company where no one appreciates or even understands the job I do. knowing that I am working to pay for something else i enjoy doing just makes it sweeter, and helps me deal with lifes morons.
I sail and go scuba diving, neither of them involve desks, both of them put you in situations where you are relying on the ability of you and your companions to work as a team. The opportunity for spending money in both sports is almost limitless.
And yes i do have kids.
David
If it ain't broke, don't fix it...
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Yes we may be burnt out and sometimes it may suck, however most of us are actually paid really well for what we do compared to a lot of people. As far as stress I think some of it we self-create. if you want stress go ride shotgun in a Humvee in Iraq for a week
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Ouch. Now that's a good point.
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Ummmm.... is there some other way that DBAs are supposed to work?
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[font="Arial"]Knowledge is of two kinds. We know a subject ourselves or we know where we can find information upon it. --Samuel Johnson[/font] -
I have been fortunate in that my IT career has mostly been in places where it had well-functioning IT staff that didn't play the politics game, and that includes working in gov't for 15 years. It is a rare thing, but such places can be found. Everyone de-stresses in different ways. For me, I find going out for a good meal does wonders. I also find not getting enough sleep increases my stress level, but any major change of environment really helps me.
But having said that, I still burned out on my last DBA/Developer job after nine years. We had a great staff, but I had no peers with which to discuss things. I tried to get some of my developers to learn aspects of DBA work to gain this, but that didn't work. Eventually I quit: when I turned in my resignation I found out from my boss that she'd just hired a new DBA. Of course I hadn't been involved in the interview or selection process. She was one of the stressers and the only one in the group who played politics, she used the people under her for personal gain by taking credit for their work.
The sad thing was that it wasn't until the end that I knew I was burned out. After I turned in my notice I immediately started getting comments from friends that "you've been unhappy there for a long time". Well, gee, thanks! Why didn't you tell me that months ago!
I currently have an added stresser in my life: I live 100 miles from my wife. We've only been married two years, but prior to that when I was single I lived in my home town with lots of friends. After we were married, I moved up to the mountains (500 miles from my home) to follow her job (being an astronomer isn't a very mobile job for her) and eventually got a DBA job in the "big city" (population 85,000) 100 miles away. Adding 4 hours to my day by driving back and forth just wasn't worth it, so I got an apartment and am now living alone again. I had adapted very quickly to living with my wife, and now I'm back to living alone again. It sucks, but I usually see her every weekend.
I would lean towards finding some empty mind candy to help turn-off your brain, perhaps movies along the lines of Shaun of the Dead/Hot Fuzz or the Shaolin Soccer/Kung Fu Hustle line might help.
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[font="Arial"]Knowledge is of two kinds. We know a subject ourselves or we know where we can find information upon it. --Samuel Johnson[/font] -
D'OH! I should get my goodly grammar right... "me facts" - should've been "my facts". Sorry
As for destressing - rather than watching movies - which usually take me about 4 sittings to get all the way through (I think the last movie I watched took a week and 5 sittings to finish) - I go out and do things that require me to think about other things in life.
I don't believe in escapism that involves drinking or drugs (except coffee, of course
) but doing a bit of martial arts training or gym work is great. The best stress-relief I've found yet is dance classes. Where else can a bloke go and be allowed to get in personal range of some nice-looking women and actually make them smile and be happy without the expense of buying gifts? Then there is the added bonus that they go home to their non-dancing boyfriends who won't do the classes and they do the arguing. It's great! 
That's my latest theory - why would I want to sit on the sidelines watching 26 sweaty blokes groping each other on a field (in this case, Rugby) when can I hang around with some women who actually want me there? Better yet - why would I play rugby and be one of those blokes who willingly gropes another bloke at waist height with the potential of having my face in his arse - then having a shower with the same blokes after the game - then going out for a beer with those same blokes while the women stand around like bumps on a log watching them get drunk?
Perspective helps LOTS
A lack of planning on your part does not constitute an emergency on mine.
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Hi Loner
You may be sliding down the slippery slope of Clinical Depression, a place where you really don't want to go. Make a few enquiries and find yourself a local counsillor / therapist, something like a "psychodynamic psychotherapist". You will probably have to try two or three before you settle on someone who suits you. Your therapist will provide reassurance and advice - as have the good people here - but will also assess your welfare and if necessary recommend treatment. As good as this forum is - and some of the posts here have provided first-rate advice (keep busy but take time to rest and relax, give time and respect to your colleagues, take regular excercise) - nothing can come close to an hour a week with an expert, dedicated to your needs.
Good luck to you now and in the future.
ChrisM
“Write the query the simplest way. If through testing it becomes clear that the performance is inadequate, consider alternative query forms.” - Gail ShawFor fast, accurate and documented assistance in answering your questions, please read this article.
Understanding and using APPLY, (I) and (II) Paul White
Hidden RBAR: Triangular Joins / The "Numbers" or "Tally" Table: What it is and how it replaces a loop Jeff Moden -
Now there's a thought that never occurred to me. And it should have considering how many chronic & manic depressives I know. Chronic / Clinical Depression is one thing I think all of us tend to overlook, even the people who are having trouble with it. And if you don't think about it, you don't get treatment and then it just gets worse.
Good catch, Chris.
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I have to admit that the option at looking for a therapist never occurred to me. I was raised by the generation that said that if things got tough or difficult, you just pulled your socks up and kept on going. Of course, there are different stresses in the world today and there have been people in my life suggesting that I need therapy. Also had one bloke I used to work with (non-IT area) who was/is a diagnosed Homocidal Schizophrenic whinging one day saying that it wasn't fair that he had to take drugs but I didn't
What can I say - self diagnosis with a weird outlook on life gets me through even the hardest days
Of course - as I've said before - physical training to the point of exhaustion tends to take one's mind off the pressures of work
A lack of planning on your part does not constitute an emergency on mine.
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(Of course - as I've said before - physical training to the point of exhaustion tends to take one's mind off the pressures of work )
I know when I ran five miles a day I sleep like a baby, I also don't think Loner needs therapy, a good vacation and learn to ignore pressures created by people who cannot measure up to your skill level.
I could use a trip to Bloomies in Manhattan New York, it always makes me very happy. I was not happy when I did not add a trip to Nordstrom when I was in Seattle.
Kind regards,
Gift Peddie
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