May 7, 2010 at 12:24 pm
And there always "Immaculate Correction". This is when an error stops happening and you have no idea why.
May 7, 2010 at 12:36 pm
Immaculate correct....I like that.
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May 7, 2010 at 1:39 pm
"field of dreams" stuff: applies to features or even systems built because IT thought it was a good idea, without previous requirements or user validation, under the expectation that "build it and they will come" is a good principle for software development
Brian
May 7, 2010 at 2:30 pm
WOW I thought Black Box is common but no one mentioned it, maybe because itβs too common that no one remembers or is it common only to our place. :w00t:
That subroutine is a Black Box to me. I know what it does and how to use it but have no clue whatsoever how it does its thing. :unsure:
May 7, 2010 at 3:29 pm
Bradley B (5/7/2010)
most of mine have been taken, but I have a semi-clean story.I was working with the Army on a FileNet project that had a SQL backend. All the FileNet tech's, people on message boards, the sub contractor and Staff Seargent I worked with , and the naming convention of the Database and the Tables all used the acronym "FN" to refer to FileNet. It had been an intense couple of days working on a Prod system crash with some loooong hours.
So I walked into a meeting with our Lead Developer, Project Manager, and Network Chief and various other Army and Governmental folks And proceeded to say things like "The FN system is broke, The FN reps suggest this, based on the results of the FN system here are the FN results we are seeing. If we do this, this, and this we can get the FN system working."
I look up from what I had drawn on the wipe board and most everyone has tears in their eyes choking back laughter and the Network Chief says very loudly "FN YEAH, lets get that FN system working!"
Classic! :w00t:
May 7, 2010 at 11:27 pm
Kluge-ware
Software that shouldn't work but does, usually a result of spaghetti-coding and/or piecemeal coding.
May 8, 2010 at 11:47 am
Dan Guzman - Not the MVP (5/7/2010)
Nuke-ware: Only certain features actually work. press the wrong button, or in the wrong order, and the whole thing may crash/fail/take down the network/cause people to run screaming from the building........
LOL - I can really picture this!
May 8, 2010 at 12:42 pm
We've had a few colorful names for some processes:
- "mentat architecture": the results of guessing what the requirement will end up being AFTER we're done developing the project (with no requirements of course).
- "Ready Fire Aim": starting to code before you have complete requirements
- "Shiny Thing Management": goals that change as fast as the manager's eye keeps getting dstracted by the latest "shiny thing". Also called "leading by buzzword".
- "barbeque code": it will pass a smoke test, but it will retain that nice smoky flavor from giving your server a warmup.
Finally - one of the bet imagery ones for me was from a previous manager, who referred to our integration work as "changing the tires on a moving car" (i.e. can be done, just really tricky and has potential to get someone hurt).
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Your lack of planning does not constitute an emergency on my part...unless you're my manager...or a director and above...or a really loud-spoken end-user..All right - what was my emergency again?
May 9, 2010 at 2:32 pm
One of my favourites first came up many years ago during a project to put a GUI front-end on a legacy character-based system - basically putting a nice front-end over the top of some really old, clunky code.
"Putting lipstip on a pig" ... referring to the art of making something look much better than it really is. Or, as one of my colleagues likes to say, "all fur coat and no knickers" (no substance).
Chris
May 9, 2010 at 4:11 pm
I'm surprised nobody has mentioned:
Slideware - Similar to vaporware, but works/exists only in Powerpoint presentations
May 9, 2010 at 5:13 pm
I'm reading an old book at the moment about the golden era of hardware and software development at Xerox PARC in the 70's. I can't remember which of the engineers used it, but his aim was to build simple elegant systems, the opposite of which he called "biggerism". If a system started to become to complex it said it had been "biggered".
May 9, 2010 at 5:33 pm
Was that, biggered or buggered π
May 9, 2010 at 5:58 pm
'Bleeding edge' where the newest leading edge technologies and ideas are being used and the budget is haemorrhaging. Usually one down from vapour ware but when someone has started paying to make it a reality (not sure whose reality sometimes as the ideas can be pretty far fetched). People have lost contracts and credibility from bleeding edge software so there is often a lot of blood shed.
May 9, 2010 at 11:49 pm
anelson 66875 (5/7/2010)
"steaming pile of bytes" describes, well... what you think it describes. Usually the result of the first couple of weeks of frenetic activity on a proof-of-concept.If the resulting prototype is used to inform a conversation leading to a proper spec, then it was "compost."
If the prototype gets band-aided and shipped, it's the other thing. π
I recently read somwhere: when someone comes to me with an idea sketched out on a napkin I tell him to build a prototype.
Now does anyone have a nice short word for 'idea sketched out on a napkin'?
May 10, 2010 at 12:08 am
Napalm - sticks to and burns everything it touches.
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