Introverted vs Extroverted

  • bkubicek - Thursday, November 9, 2017 7:48 AM

    Chris Harshman - Thursday, November 9, 2017 7:44 AM

    As for being an introvert vs extrovert, I find I very wildly depending on the individual or group of people I'm dealing with.  There's some people I've known for years that I still feel awkward talking to about my ideas or opinions, and others that I just meet that I feel I can almost be stream of consciousness with in communicating to them.

    So do people drain you or energize you?

    Ben

    It depends on the person, some energize me, some drain me, some do neither.  (how's that for a DBA answer)  😉

  • Chris Harshman - Thursday, November 9, 2017 8:13 AM

    bkubicek - Thursday, November 9, 2017 7:48 AM

    I am not trying to say negative comments should never be brought up.  I have just experience general negativity (kind of like general relativity, not really) in some meetings from some people that often think any new idea or change is doomed to failure.

    I know you personally aren't trying to say that, my point was that I've experienced some people will see anything remotely negative as bad, even if I try to be diplomatic or constructive about it, and they think I should just keep it to myself.

    I suppose some people see can criticism as negative and a personal attack.  Still, they are foolish if they don't keep an open mind to all input.  Even if the negative input isn't fully correct, it still may bring up a good issue to be considered.  Like has been mentioned before, I am sure a lot has to do with the delivery of the negative feedback.
    Ben

  • Chris Harshman - Thursday, November 9, 2017 8:14 AM

    bkubicek - Thursday, November 9, 2017 7:48 AM

    Chris Harshman - Thursday, November 9, 2017 7:44 AM

    As for being an introvert vs extrovert, I find I very wildly depending on the individual or group of people I'm dealing with.  There's some people I've known for years that I still feel awkward talking to about my ideas or opinions, and others that I just meet that I feel I can almost be stream of consciousness with in communicating to them.

    So do people drain you or energize you?

    Ben

    It depends on the person, some energize me, some drain me, some do neither.  (how's that for a DBA answer)  😉

    Just my opinion, but if any person can energize you by spending time with them, I would guess you lean toward extrovert.  Most introverts it doesn't matter if they are spending time with their best friend on Earth.  When it is all said and done they feel exhausted from person to person interaction.

    Ben

  • I think of this as a question of balance. Personally my nature is to be more extroverted, but as I age (I am closer to 70 than 50) I find that balance is what I strive for. Whether that is between extrovert/introvert or other human attributes. If I am in a group, I find it most useful to have a good balance of ex & introverts, as well as a balance of male/female, technical/business, young/old, etc. Having a good mix of people doesn't make the task easier, but it does create a more full picture and hopefully a better outcome. Of course, I strive for balance in myself as well. Some of my attributes that were so strong in my youth have mellowed and, I hope, allow me to serve better.

  • Q: How can you tell when a developer is an extrovert?
    A: He stares at your shoes when he talks to you.
    🙂

  • I would class myself generally as introverted as other people can tire me. I don't suffer fools gladly but because of their long experience they wear me down!

    Years ago I had a job interview carried out by a panel dominated by a total extrovert. In reality I did not have an interview as 95% of the conversation and I ended up being offered a job which I accepted. A few weeks in I realised it was neither the job described nor did I have the relevant skills (did they actually read beyond the first few lines of my CV?).

    I try to be more outgoing but in larger groups find it hard. At over 6' and built to match I cannot hide myself!

  • There is a personality evaluation test, Myers Briggs, that can assist you to determine this and other traits of individuals that will assist in training and interaction. My experience has been this is a reasonably accurate cursory evaluation and has been helpful to me in my own interactions with others and in interactions with staff when I was managing.

  • Oh, there are so many things I want to say in response to this. Likely, I'll leave something off.

    I   think of myself as an introvert, but let's say not a "hard line" introvert. I'm willing to talk and enjoy being around people, listening to their ideas, sharing my own. But I relish being alone. I can work with colleagues or work alone, but prefer working alone.

    I  have seen people in this field who are extroverts. They love being the life of the party. They love letting you know what they think, whether you want to know or not. Some of them really bug me.

    I am concerned about my son, who is on the autism spectrum. Believe me, if there's thing that really takes introvertness (is that a word?) to the max, autism is it. 

    There used to be a fellow here at my current job, who I also believe was a high functioning autistic. He was intelligent and would engage you in conversation, so long as the conversation was about something he cared about. Once the topic moved on, so did he.  He eventually left his job here, with no other job to go to. I think in large part because of his autism. Its sad and even though its been over a year, I worry about him.

    Kindest Regards, Rod Connect with me on LinkedIn.

  • I'm strongly introverted. A hardcore ISTJ to be sure. I'm so glad I have a career where it is an advantage. 
    Also - there's a great book called "Quiet Influence" that I wish I read when I started my career. I wrote about it here: https://www.mlakartechtalk.com/introvert-work-survive-success-developer/

  • bkubicek - Thursday, November 9, 2017 8:24 AM

    Chris Harshman - Thursday, November 9, 2017 8:14 AM

    bkubicek - Thursday, November 9, 2017 7:48 AM

    Chris Harshman - Thursday, November 9, 2017 7:44 AM

    As for being an introvert vs extrovert, I find I very wildly depending on the individual or group of people I'm dealing with.  There's some people I've known for years that I still feel awkward talking to about my ideas or opinions, and others that I just meet that I feel I can almost be stream of consciousness with in communicating to them.

    So do people drain you or energize you?

    Ben

    It depends on the person, some energize me, some drain me, some do neither.  (how's that for a DBA answer)  😉

    Just my opinion, but if any person can energize you by spending time with them, I would guess you lean toward extrovert.  Most introverts it doesn't matter if they are spending time with their best friend on Earth.  When it is all said and done they feel exhausted from person to person interaction.

    Ben

    It doesn't work that way for me. In general, people drain me, but some circumstances and some people give me energy which offsets that drain.
    The drain is always there; it's just that sometimes there's a co-incidental (not coincidental) source of energy.

  • contact 35193 - Thursday, November 9, 2017 2:07 AM

    I recently read the book 'Quiet' by Susan Cain. She writes about the introvert/extrovert divide. As an introvert I can't recommend the book enough.

    I'm currently reading 'Quiet' and I agree it's a great read and it confirms much of what I've considered to be my strengths. Another great read is: Networking for People Who Hate Networking by Dvora Zack. I'd call it essential reading for introverts making a living in a business world seemingly replete with extroverts.

  • Introversion and extraversion are relative and these constructs lie on a continuum. There's not stereotypical type of either. As Cain notes in 'Quiet', there are extraverted introverts, introverted extraverts, and even those who are ambiverts. I'm clearly an introvert but I enjoy talking to people---one at a time. I abhor meetings especially when there are several people. Meetings drain me as does a day full of one-on-one conversations. I'd rather e-mail than talk on the phone. I'm somewhat of a slow talker which seems to frustrate some people and it seems to grant people license to interrupt me when I'm speaking. It's really important that we recognize and appreciate individual differences. No personality type is better than another but we all function better under certain circumstances. If you'll excuse me, I need to get back to my data.

  • I am a little surprised I haven't seen any comments on the sentence, " I fear that when introverts are in the majority, communication suffers."  Almost makes me think you are an extrovert, Mr. Kubicek.
    Communication can suffer under both introverts and extroverts; it just suffers in different ways.
    As  an introvert, that says it all.  I suspect extroverts will want more words to explain.  🙂

    Regards,
    Nelson

  • Nelson Petersen - Friday, November 10, 2017 8:40 AM

    I am a little surprised I haven't seen any comments on the sentence, " I fear that when introverts are in the majority, communication suffers."  Almost makes me think you are an extrovert, Mr. Kubicek.
    Communication can suffer under both introverts and extroverts; it just suffers in different ways.
    As  an introvert, that says it all.  I suspect extroverts will want more words to explain.  🙂

    Regards,
    Nelson

    So in your experience, when introverts are in the majority is communication better or worse?  I can only talk about my experience.  Of course, it will always depend on the individuals and how introverted they are.  My hope for this article was to bring up the discussion, to help people better realize things about themselves and hopefully promote better communication.  I do apologize if you were offended by something I wrote.

    As for me, I am introverted.  My natural state is to listen and not talk unless someone asks me a specific question.  I have worked at "acting" more extroverted, pushing myself to talk and express my opinions, but it is not my natural tendency.

    Ben

  • As a side point, it's interesting how the medium changes things.

    People who consider themselves introverts seem very active in this text based conversation (which I think is a good thing). Email and messaging can perhaps reduce barriers to discussion.

    ...

    -- FORTRAN manual for Xerox Computers --

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