Pick on Windows Poll
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"Windows is a 32-bit extension to a 16-bit graphical shell for an 8-bit operating system originally coded for a 4-bit microprocessor by a 2-bit company that can't stand 1 bit of competition."
Michael
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Here's one I accidentally made up the other day:
"I've got good news! I just saved a ton of money by switching my software from Microsoft!"
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IBM creates Operating Systems - MS-DOSn't!
Microsoft broke Volkswagen's world record: Volkswagen only made 22 million bugs!
"Microsoft's biggest and most dangerous contribution to the software industry may be the degree to which it has lowered user expectations."
When you say: "I wrote a program that crashed Windows", people just stare at you blankly and say: "Hey, I got those with the system -- for free."
**ASCII stupid question, get a stupid ANSI !!!** -
There's the old joke:
Q: How many MS Engineers does it take to change a lightbulb?
A: None. Bill Gates simply declares darkness to be the industry standard, and moves on.
G. Milner
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After spending all day programing for .NET
I am beginning to call it DAWDLE NET!
(since it takes so long to load)
Dave Catherman
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I think Jake wins so far...I'm still wiping Diet Coke off my monitor from guffawing over that one.
A couple more...
Computers are like air conditioners: they stop working correctly when you open windows.
I had a fortune cookie the other day that said 'Outlook not good'. Then I said, 'So why does Microsoft keep shipping it?'
My hovercraft is full of eels.
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I think Jake wins so far...I'm still wiping Diet Coke off my monitor from guffawing over that one.
A couple more...
Computers are like air conditioners: they stop working correctly when you open windows.
I had a fortune cookie the other day that said 'Outlook not good'. Then I said, 'So why does Microsoft keep shipping it?'
My hovercraft is full of eels.
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A parody, which I take no credit for, of the blue screen of death:
"Windows has shut down improperly. To avoid this happening again, get a more stable operating system."
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An oldie, but goodie generic SQL joke:
Select * From Users Where Clue > 0
-------------------------------
(0 row(s) affected)
My blog: SQL Soldier[/url]
SQL Server Best Practices: SQL Server Best Practices
Twitter: @SQLSoldier
My book: Pro SQL Server 2008 Mirroring[/url]
Microsoft Certified Master: SQL Server, Data Platform MVP
Database Engineer at BlueMountain Capital Management[/url] -
"Microsoft Works"
'nuff sed.
Scott DuncanMARCUS. Why dost thou laugh? It fits not with this hour.
TITUS. Why, I have not another tear to shed;
--Titus Andronicus, William Shakespeare
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There was once a young man who, in his youth, professed a desire
to become a "great" writer. When asked to define "great", this is what he said:
"I want to write stuff that the whole world will read, stuff that people
will react to on a truly emotional level, stuff that will make them scream, cry, wail, howl in pain, desperation and anger!"
He now works for Microsoft writing error messages...
The Aethyr Dragon
Cape Town
RSA -
Forgot about this classic!!
"C:\, C:\Dos\Run, C:\Windows\Crawl"
The Aethyr Dragon
Cape Town
RSA -
Ok, gotta join this party
Windows VirusScan 1.0 - "Windows found: Remove it? (Y/N)"
Helpdesk: What anti-virus program do you use?
Customer: Netscape.
Helpdesk: That's not an anti-virus program.
Customer: Oh, sorry...Internet Explorer.
Why do you click on start to exit Microsoft Windows?
"they need to put some quality warez and movies on microsoft.com i get awesome download speed from them "
Ever notice how fast Windows runs? Neither did I...
Why doesn't DOS ever say "EXCELLENT command or filename!"
Windows is NOT a virus. Viruses DO something.
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Colt 45 - the original point and click interface
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From an old graphic I had (thanks to search I have again
)Windows CEMENT!
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"You uploaded Windows to the Borg? Are you crazy?!"
"Well, we haven't heard a peep from them, so I guess it worked!"
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