Today's Random Word!

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Today's Random Word!

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crookj SSChampion Points: 14055 More actions · Answer 1

crookj

SSChampion

Points: 14055

September 3, 2010 at 8:41 am

#1216202

CirquedeSQLeil (9/3/2010)

crookj (9/3/2010)

Colorado Springs Labor Day Balloon Festival!

Good times!

Joe

Somebody's gettin' high.;-)

That and - Just a drop in the water.

Love it when the do dips into the lake.

Joe

SQLRNNR SSC Guru Points: 281324 More actions · Answer 2

crookj (9/3/2010)

CirquedeSQLeil (9/3/2010)

crookj (9/3/2010)

Colorado Springs Labor Day Balloon Festival!

Good times!

Joe

Somebody's gettin' high.;-)

That and - Just a drop in the water.

Love it when the do dips into the lake.

Joe

I would too - what a site to see.

Jason...AKA CirqueDeSQLeil
_______________________________________________
I have given a name to my pain...MCM SQL Server, MVP
SQL RNNR
Posting Performance Based Questions - Gail Shaw[/url]
Learn Extended Events

Daniel Bowlin SSC-Dedicated Points: 34566 More actions · Answer 3

Daniel Bowlin

SSC-Dedicated

Points: 34566

September 7, 2010 at 7:08 am

#1217304

As the Uniblab would say.

"Work, Work. Everybody, back to work. Work. Work."

crookj SSChampion Points: 14055 More actions · Answer 4

crookj

SSChampion

Points: 14055

September 7, 2010 at 8:08 am

#1217355

dbowlin (9/7/2010)

As the Uniblab would say.

"Work, Work. Everybody, back to work. Work. Work."

And just out of curiosity, what would the teleprompter say? :ermm:

Joe

SQLRNNR SSC Guru Points: 281324 More actions · Answer 5

crookj (9/7/2010)

dbowlin (9/7/2010)

As the Uniblab would say.

"Work, Work. Everybody, back to work. Work. Work."

And just out of curiosity, what would the teleprompter say? :ermm:

Joe

Sleep sleep. Everybody back to sleep.

Jason...AKA CirqueDeSQLeil
_______________________________________________
I have given a name to my pain...MCM SQL Server, MVP
SQL RNNR
Posting Performance Based Questions - Gail Shaw[/url]
Learn Extended Events

ChrisM@Work SSC Guru Points: 186127 More actions · Answer 6

CirquedeSQLeil (9/7/2010)

crookj (9/7/2010)

dbowlin (9/7/2010)

As the Uniblab would say.

"Work, Work. Everybody, back to work. Work. Work."

And just out of curiosity, what would the teleprompter say? :ermm:

Joe

Sleep sleep. Everybody back to sleep.

Heh thanks Jason, just the command I was hoping for 🙂

zzzz

^{“Write the query the simplest way. If through testing it becomes clear that the performance is inadequate, consider alternative query forms.” - Gail Shaw}

For fast, accurate and documented assistance in answering your questions, please read this article.
Understanding and using APPLY, (I) and (II) Paul White
Hidden RBAR: Triangular Joins / The "Numbers" or "Tally" Table: What it is and how it replaces a loop Jeff Moden

Lynn Pettis SSC Guru Points: 442447 More actions · Answer 7

Wanted, one word term for lazy and obnoxious OP.

Received a PM from a newbie (noobie, no posts as of yet) asking for help. Told him to post on appropriate forum. Got a reply asking for help with that. Told him if he could figure out how to PM someone, he could figure out how to post on the forums. Got another reply saying it was urgent. Replied back, how urgent could it be if you have to wait 12 hours before I can even help?

See you in then TitD!!

ChrisM@Work SSC Guru Points: 186127 More actions · Answer 8

Lynn Pettis (9/7/2010)

Wanted, one word term for lazy and obnoxious OP.

Received a PM from a newbie (noobie, no posts as of yet) asking for help. Told him to post on appropriate forum. Got a reply asking for help with that. Told him if he could figure out how to PM someone, he could figure out how to post on the forums. Got another reply saying it was urgent. Replied back, how urgent could it be if you have to wait 12 hours before I can even help?

See you in then TitD!!

IF OBJECT_ID( 'tempdb..#Insults') IS NOT NULL DROP TABLE #Insults



CREATE TABLE #Insults (Insult VARCHAR(20), Obnoxiousness INT)

INSERT INTO #Insults (Insult, Obnoxiousness)

SELECT 'Clown', 1 UNION ALL

SELECT 'Jerk', 4 UNION ALL

SELECT 'Idiot', 2 UNION ALL

SELECT 'F&$%*(\ a$%^$(&*', 10 

SELECT TOP 1 [Lyn's tormentor] = Insult

FROM #Insults

ORDER BY Obnoxiousness DESC

^{“Write the query the simplest way. If through testing it becomes clear that the performance is inadequate, consider alternative query forms.” - Gail Shaw}

For fast, accurate and documented assistance in answering your questions, please read this article.
Understanding and using APPLY, (I) and (II) Paul White
Hidden RBAR: Triangular Joins / The "Numbers" or "Tally" Table: What it is and how it replaces a loop Jeff Moden

Daniel Bowlin SSC-Dedicated Points: 34566 More actions · Answer 9

IF OBJECT_ID( 'tempdb..#Insults') IS NOT NULL DROP TABLE #Insults
CREATE TABLE #Insults (Insult VARCHAR(20), Obnoxiousness INT) INSERT INTO #Insults (Insult, Obnoxiousness) SELECT 'Clown', 1 UNION ALL SELECT 'Jerk', 4 UNION ALL SELECT 'Idiot', 2 UNION ALL SELECT 'F&$%*(\ a$%^$(&*', 10 SELECT TOP 1 [Lyn's tormentor] = Insult FROM #Insults
ORDER BY Obnoxiousness DESC

This really got me thinking. Instead of the beep/sound that windows makes when you make a mistake or do something fairly rediculuous. It should insult you. Windows is too nice, we need an OS that tells it like it is. This could be the basis for a whole new direction of software and OS design. Great idea! 😀

crookj SSChampion Points: 14055 More actions · Answer 10

dbowlin (9/8/2010)

IF OBJECT_ID( 'tempdb..#Insults') IS NOT NULL DROP TABLE #Insults
CREATE TABLE #Insults (Insult VARCHAR(20), Obnoxiousness INT) INSERT INTO #Insults (Insult, Obnoxiousness) SELECT 'Clown', 1 UNION ALL SELECT 'Jerk', 4 UNION ALL SELECT 'Idiot', 2 UNION ALL SELECT 'F&$%*(\ a$%^$(&*', 10 SELECT TOP 1 [Lyn's tormentor] = Insult FROM #Insults
ORDER BY Obnoxiousness DESC

This really got me thinking. Instead of the beep/sound that windows makes when you make a mistake or do something fairly rediculuous. It should insult you. Windows is too nice, we need an OS that tells it like it is. This could be the basis for a whole new direction of software and OS design. Great idea! 😀

This brings back visual of the youtube video of the programmer slapping around his monitor. It will do wonders for the monitor market as long as there is a disclaimer in the warranty about not covering Windows insult reactionary malfunctions.

ChrisM@Work SSC Guru Points: 186127 More actions · Answer 11

dbowlin (9/8/2010)

This really got me thinking. Instead of the beep/sound that windows makes when you make a mistake or do something fairly rediculuous. It should insult you. Windows is too nice, we need an OS that tells it like it is. This could be the basis for a whole new direction of software and OS design. Great idea! 😀

It's been done already - the teleprinters my father used in the RAF 40 years ago would return the acronym of "that was incorrectly typed" if you made a mistake.

^{“Write the query the simplest way. If through testing it becomes clear that the performance is inadequate, consider alternative query forms.” - Gail Shaw}

For fast, accurate and documented assistance in answering your questions, please read this article.
Understanding and using APPLY, (I) and (II) Paul White
Hidden RBAR: Triangular Joins / The "Numbers" or "Tally" Table: What it is and how it replaces a loop Jeff Moden

Gail Shaw SSC Guru Points: 1004494 More actions · Answer 12

Gail Shaw

SSC Guru

Points: 1004494

September 8, 2010 at 7:46 am

#1217937

Noise level. (as in too high)

Gail Shaw
Microsoft Certified Master: SQL Server, MVP, M.Sc (Comp Sci)
SQL In The Wild: Discussions on DB performance with occasional diversions into recoverability

We walk in the dark places no others will enter
We stand on the bridge and no one may pass

Paul White SSC Guru Points: 150457 More actions · Answer 13

Paul White

SSC Guru

Points: 150457

September 8, 2010 at 7:53 am

#1217948

Lynn Pettis (9/7/2010)

Wanted, one word term for Lazy and Obnoxious OP

LOOP!

You all hate loops, right? 😉

Paul White
SQLPerformance.com
SQLkiwi blog
@SQL_Kiwi

TomThomson SSC Guru Points: 104773 More actions · Answer 14

TomThomson

SSC Guru

Points: 104773

September 8, 2010 at 8:52 am

#1218001

Flight

In just under 24 hours I will be somewhere over the west Atlantic on my way to my nice warm winter home.

Tom

SQLRNNR SSC Guru Points: 281324 More actions · Answer 15

SQLRNNR

SSC Guru

Points: 281324

September 8, 2010 at 8:55 am

#1218004

eep opp ork ah ah

Jason...AKA CirqueDeSQLeil
_______________________________________________
I have given a name to my pain...MCM SQL Server, MVP
SQL RNNR
Posting Performance Based Questions - Gail Shaw[/url]
Learn Extended Events