Post reply

Are the posted questions getting worse?

  • January 18, 2013 at 11:23 am

    #1578826

    wolfkillj (1/18/2013)

    Evil Kraig F (1/17/2013)

    Was ill for a week, miss anything of import?

    MS announced that SQL Server 2012R2 will be released in late 2014 and will officially support both DBCC TIMEWARP and a new trace flag that will automatically apply the NOLOCK hint to all queries so developers no longer need to hard-code it into their queries to make them run faster.

    Even knowing this was fake, I still just about threw up.

  • January 18, 2013 at 11:27 am

    #1578830

    jasona.work (1/18/2013)

    . . . Canada isn't exactly a hotbed of terrorism. . . .

    There is that entrenched extortion organization called Revenue Canada.

  • January 18, 2013 at 11:40 am

    #1578835

    Revenant (1/18/2013)

    jasona.work (1/18/2013)

    . . . Canada isn't exactly a hotbed of terrorism. . . .

    There is that entrenched extortion organization called Revenue Canada.

    And what about Quebec? Isn't everyone who lives there a evil secessionist?

    Brandie Tarvin, MCITP Database AdministratorLiveJournal Blog: http://brandietarvin.livejournal.com/[/url]On LinkedIn!, Google+, and Twitter.Freelance Writer: ShadowrunLatchkeys: Nevermore, Latchkeys: The Bootleg War, and Latchkeys: Roscoes in the Night are now available on Nook and Kindle.

  • January 18, 2013 at 11:41 am

    #1578836

    Chad Crawford (1/18/2013)

    wolfkillj (1/18/2013)

    Evil Kraig F (1/17/2013)

    Was ill for a week, miss anything of import?

    MS announced that SQL Server 2012R2 will be released in late 2014 and will officially support both DBCC TIMEWARP and a new trace flag that will automatically apply the NOLOCK hint to all queries so developers no longer need to hard-code it into their queries to make them run faster.

    Even knowing this was fake, I still just about threw up.

    All we need is an actual Go Faster flag for the database, and everything will be FINE.

    Brandie Tarvin, MCITP Database AdministratorLiveJournal Blog: http://brandietarvin.livejournal.com/[/url]On LinkedIn!, Google+, and Twitter.Freelance Writer: ShadowrunLatchkeys: Nevermore, Latchkeys: The Bootleg War, and Latchkeys: Roscoes in the Night are now available on Nook and Kindle.

  • January 18, 2013 at 11:55 am

    #1578839

    Chad Crawford (1/18/2013)

    wolfkillj (1/18/2013)

    Evil Kraig F (1/17/2013)

    Was ill for a week, miss anything of import?

    MS announced that SQL Server 2012R2 will be released in late 2014 and will officially support both DBCC TIMEWARP and a new trace flag that will automatically apply the NOLOCK hint to all queries so developers no longer need to hard-code it into their queries to make them run faster.

    Even knowing this was fake, I still just about threw up.

    All we need is an actual Go Faster flag for the database, and everything will be FINE.

    Brandie Tarvin, MCITP Database AdministratorLiveJournal Blog: http://brandietarvin.livejournal.com/[/url]On LinkedIn!, Google+, and Twitter.Freelance Writer: ShadowrunLatchkeys: Nevermore, Latchkeys: The Bootleg War, and Latchkeys: Roscoes in the Night are now available on Nook and Kindle.

  • January 18, 2013 at 12:09 pm

    #1578841

    Brandie Tarvin (1/18/2013)

    Chad Crawford (1/18/2013)

    wolfkillj (1/18/2013)

    Evil Kraig F (1/17/2013)

    Was ill for a week, miss anything of import?

    MS announced that SQL Server 2012R2 will be released in late 2014 and will officially support both DBCC TIMEWARP and a new trace flag that will automatically apply the NOLOCK hint to all queries so developers no longer need to hard-code it into their queries to make them run faster.

    Even knowing this was fake, I still just about threw up.

    All we need is an actual Go Faster flag for the database, and everything will be FINE.

    Several years ago, on April 1, I submitted a request for command FLOG processId. 😉

  • January 18, 2013 at 12:21 pm

    #1578844

    Brandie Tarvin (1/18/2013)

    All we need is an actual Go Faster flag for the database, and everything will be FINE.

    got your fix right here:

    Lowell

    --help us help you! If you post a question, make sure you include a CREATE TABLE... statement and INSERT INTO... statement into that table to give the volunteers here representative data. with your description of the problem, we can provide a tested, verifiable solution to your question! asking the question the right way gets you a tested answer the fastest way possible!

  • January 18, 2013 at 12:24 pm

    #1578846

    Lowell (1/18/2013)

    Brandie Tarvin (1/18/2013)

    All we need is an actual Go Faster flag for the database, and everything will be FINE.

    got your fix right here:

    MINE.

    I wonder how much the devs will pay me to borrow it?

    Brandie Tarvin, MCITP Database AdministratorLiveJournal Blog: http://brandietarvin.livejournal.com/[/url]On LinkedIn!, Google+, and Twitter.Freelance Writer: ShadowrunLatchkeys: Nevermore, Latchkeys: The Bootleg War, and Latchkeys: Roscoes in the Night are now available on Nook and Kindle.

  • January 18, 2013 at 12:33 pm

    #1578850

    Revenant (1/18/2013)

    Brandie Tarvin (1/18/2013)

    Chad Crawford (1/18/2013)

    wolfkillj (1/18/2013)

    Evil Kraig F (1/17/2013)

    Was ill for a week, miss anything of import?

    MS announced that SQL Server 2012R2 will be released in late 2014 and will officially support both DBCC TIMEWARP and a new trace flag that will automatically apply the NOLOCK hint to all queries so developers no longer need to hard-code it into their queries to make them run faster.

    Even knowing this was fake, I still just about threw up.

    All we need is an actual Go Faster flag for the database, and everything will be FINE.

    Several years ago, on April 1, I submitted a request for command FLOG processId. 😉

    http://sqlinthewild.co.za/index.php/2010/04/01/running-sql-faster/

    Gail Shaw
    Microsoft Certified Master: SQL Server, MVP, M.Sc (Comp Sci)
    SQL In The Wild: Discussions on DB performance with occasional diversions into recoverability

    We walk in the dark places no others will enter
    We stand on the bridge and no one may pass

  • January 18, 2013 at 12:37 pm

    #1578852

    Wow, I cannot get Penn Jillette's album out of my head today. Just 2 or 3 songs, but they won't stop playing in my brain.

    --------------------------------------
    When you encounter a problem, if the solution isn't readily evident go back to the start and check your assumptions.
    --------------------------------------
    It’s unpleasantly like being drunk.
    What’s so unpleasant about being drunk?
    You ask a glass of water. -- Douglas Adams

  • January 18, 2013 at 12:55 pm

    #1578857

    Lowell (1/18/2013)

    Brandie Tarvin (1/18/2013)

    All we need is an actual Go Faster flag for the database, and everything will be FINE.

    got your fix right here:

    to paraphrase Roger Rabbit, pppppppppppplllllllllleeeeeeeeeaaaaaasssseeeeeeee

    Use this technique:

    Follow me on Twitter: http://www.twitter.com/way0utwest
    Forum Etiquette: How to post data/code on a forum to get the best help
    My Blog: www.voiceofthedba.com

  • January 18, 2013 at 2:26 pm

    #1578887

    Lowell (1/18/2013)

    Brandie Tarvin (1/18/2013)

    All we need is an actual Go Faster flag for the database, and everything will be FINE.

    got your fix right here:

    I need one of those

    Jason...AKA CirqueDeSQLeil
    _______________________________________________
    I have given a name to my pain...MCM SQL Server, MVP
    SQL RNNR
    Posting Performance Based Questions - Gail Shaw[/url]
    Learn Extended Events

  • January 18, 2013 at 6:06 pm

    #1578912

    SQLRNNR (1/18/2013)

    Lowell (1/18/2013)

    Brandie Tarvin (1/18/2013)

    All we need is an actual Go Faster flag for the database, and everything will be FINE.

    got your fix right here:

    I need one of those

    Funny thing is, they really do (did?) exist.

    Some of us will remember advertisements for "overclocking" kits for 80286-based computers (basically a new crystal to run 25% or whatever faster). For the adventurous types, you may end up with the need for liquid nitrogen cooling if you speed up your system enough.

  • January 18, 2013 at 7:01 pm

    #1578918

    john.arnott (1/18/2013)

    SQLRNNR (1/18/2013)

    Lowell (1/18/2013)

    Brandie Tarvin (1/18/2013)

    All we need is an actual Go Faster flag for the database, and everything will be FINE.

    got your fix right here:

    I need one of those

    Funny thing is, they really do (did?) exist.

    Some of us will remember advertisements for "overclocking" kits for 80286-based computers (basically a new crystal to run 25% or whatever faster). For the adventurous types, you may end up with the need for liquid nitrogen cooling if you speed up your system enough.

    Oh lordy lordy ... bring back those good old days ....

    If everything seems to be going well, you have obviously overlooked something.

    Ron

    Please help us, help you -before posting a question please read[/url]
    Before posting a performance problem please read[/url]

  • January 21, 2013 at 8:24 am

    #1579274

    Ah, the good old days of the "Turbo" button...

    I wonder how many of those were just wired up to show a higher number on the MHZ LEDs on the front, and didn't actually do *anything*

    Jason

Viewing 15 posts - 38,761 through 38,775 (of 66,000 total)

You must be logged in to reply to this topic. Login to reply