May 21, 2009 at 12:04 am
Lynn Pettis (5/20/2009)
Bob Hovious (5/20/2009)
Gail: There's hope!Many people have cats but go on to live perfectly normal lives. 😛
As long as you remember this one Cardinal Rule: Dogs have owners, Cats have staff.
Slaves. Staff get paid.
Gail Shaw
Microsoft Certified Master: SQL Server, MVP, M.Sc (Comp Sci)
SQL In The Wild: Discussions on DB performance with occasional diversions into recoverability
May 21, 2009 at 12:33 am
Alvin Ramard (5/20/2009)
I see Jan just took a swing at our window washer.😎
Hey man, I was still being polite. I was actually contemplating suggesting to him to reapply for his job at the White House.
May 21, 2009 at 12:37 am
Lynn Pettis (5/20/2009)
john.arnott (5/20/2009)
Jan asks... do you actually have Excel installed on your machine?
I thought of that but didn't dare dip my toe in that pool. How funny would it be if that turns out to be the problem? A grateful OP offers Jan free window cleaning for life....
Yea, but he'd probably stick Jan with the bill for the airfare from the US to SA, plus the hotel costs.
I'll gladly pay for that, as long as it keeps him off the forum. Got a lot of upstairs windows to wash. And since winter is upon us I can keep him busy for a long long time. 😀
May 21, 2009 at 1:57 am
"SSC Woodstock".
Spot the dope 😛
Anyone know where the sanity test went?
Yeah! In the 8x8 padded cell :crazy:
Far away is close at hand in the images of elsewhere.
Anon.
May 21, 2009 at 2:02 am
GilaMonster (5/21/2009)
Lynn Pettis (5/20/2009)
Bob Hovious (5/20/2009)
Gail: There's hope!Many people have cats but go on to live perfectly normal lives. 😛
As long as you remember this one Cardinal Rule: Dogs have owners, Cats have staff.
Slaves. Staff get paid.
You mean you don't count those headless voles, rat livers and mouse innards as wages.
May 21, 2009 at 2:27 am
Lynn Pettis (5/20/2009)
I'm going to have to say yes. We have two and they can definately be just as bad as the kids at times.
My cat was up to his usual tricks last night
He was at the back door meowing to be let out, but when I opened the door and he saw it was raining he changed his mind.
30 seconds later he was meowing at the front door, wouldn't stop till I opened it so he could check the weather at the front of the house.
Wouldn't mind but the house isn't THAT big!! If its raining in the back garden it will be raining in the front too.
May 21, 2009 at 2:47 am
Samuel Vella (5/21/2009)
Lynn Pettis (5/20/2009)
I'm going to have to say yes. We have two and they can definately be just as bad as the kids at times.
My cat was up to his usual tricks last night
He was at the back door meowing to be let out, but when I opened the door and he saw it was raining he changed his mind.
30 seconds later he was meowing at the front door, wouldn't stop till I opened it so he could check the weather at the front of the house.
Wouldn't mind but the house isn't THAT big!! If its raining in the back garden it will be raining in the front too.
Ours can't resist an open door and will zoom out into the rain before coming to an abrupt halt, U-turning and, if you've kept the door open, coming back in otherwise its immediately back to the window ledge to demand re-admittance.
Its the same with cupboards and wardrobes - if she sees the door being opened, she has to go through it.
May 21, 2009 at 3:20 am
Lynn Pettis (5/20/2009)
Roy Ernest (5/20/2009)
Is the Window washer player around in T-SQL section? I just want to take a peek... 😀If you really must, he's here.
Does anyone else feel like they're reading the output of an ELIZA program? I.e. any input either just causes a canned response or a question back which is based on what WAS said...
Eliza: Hello, please state your problem.
User: My wife doesn't understand me.
Eliza: Why do you say your wife doesn't understand you?
User: She never listens.
Eliza: Can you elaborate?
User: She doesn't pay attention.
Eliza: So you think she doesn't pay attention?
...
Wwasher: I have a problem with copying data.
Helper1: Have you tried saving the spreadsheet and using bulk insert?
Wwasher: Can you tell me how to save the speadsheet and use bulk insert?
Helper2: I use DTS.
Wwasher: Can you explain?
Helper2: Try this code ...
Wwasher: I tried your code and got an error. I have a problem with copying data.
Helper3: Have you looked at SSIS?
Wwasher: Please show me how to look at SSIS.
Helper3: It's in BOL.
Wwasher: What do you mean by "it's in BOL."?
...
Derek
May 21, 2009 at 3:38 am
Tom Brown (5/21/2009)
You mean you don't count those headless voles, rat livers and mouse innards as wages.
Mine never bring me anything. Only once they brought a bird in and then let if go.
Gail Shaw
Microsoft Certified Master: SQL Server, MVP, M.Sc (Comp Sci)
SQL In The Wild: Discussions on DB performance with occasional diversions into recoverability
May 21, 2009 at 3:57 am
GilaMonster (5/21/2009)
Tom Brown (5/21/2009)
You mean you don't count those headless voles, rat livers and mouse innards as wages.Mine never bring me anything. Only once they brought a bird in and then let if go.
One of our cats often brings in birds, mice and voles, then lets them go so he can chase them!
Another used to bring in half dead rabbits! :sick:
Derek
May 21, 2009 at 4:33 am
Wow you guys were busy!
Just caught up with the last 100 pots or so...
The window washer, I loved Gail's reply, but his reply of;
Hi
Where can I find the SSIS or import/export wizard? can you send me a link of how to use it?
Thanks
made me laugh out loud... Much to the suprise of the rest of the team in the office.
And Jan's reply, well I almost fell off my chair...
Cats: We had a great cat when I was growing up. If he could get into your room in the morning he would sit at the end of the bed. If you didn't wake up he would move closer, until he was right in front of your face. Then if you still didn't stir he would take a swipe at you eyelids with just his pads. If that didn't work he'd go for your eyepads again but with claws! You soon learnt to wake and feed him!
Rodders...
May 21, 2009 at 4:59 am
rodjkidd (5/21/2009)
Cats: We had a great cat when I was growing up. If he could get into your room in the morning he would sit at the end of the bed. If you didn't wake up he would move closer, until he was right in front of your face. Then if you still didn't stir he would take a swipe at you eyelids with just his pads. If that didn't work he'd go for your eyepads again but with claws! You soon learnt to wake and feed him!
My feet stick out the bottom of the bed/duvet and my cat seems to have great fun attacking them.
After the last incident ended up with him drawing blood I've insisted that he's either out for the night or the door is kept closed!
May 21, 2009 at 5:32 am
RBarryYoung (5/20/2009)
Grant Fritchey (5/20/2009)
Wow. I didn't realize that reference would be completely missed. Not that I know squat about the actual Woodstock. I just saw the documentary. There was a long, rambling, silly message about staying away from brown acid because it was causing "bad trips" as opposed to the good hallucinations when you're surrounded by filthy hippies and there's a completely inadequate number of porta-potties and you're listening to some, quite awful, music... Yeah, stay away from the brown acid...In order for people to catch this reference, you probably need to follow this by playing the star-spangled banner with your teeth on a flaming guitar that's been wired backwards.
...
(huh, ... dang, he was good!)
Yeah, ok. He was good. And Joe Cocker. For the rest. Feh! I can't defend them.
----------------------------------------------------The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena, whose face is marred by dust and sweat and blood... Theodore RooseveltThe Scary DBAAuthor of: SQL Server 2017 Query Performance Tuning, 5th Edition and SQL Server Execution Plans, 3rd EditionProduct Evangelist for Red Gate Software
May 21, 2009 at 5:40 am
Another used to bring in half dead rabbits!
Heh! That nothing, it's when they bring in the dead half, then puke up the other half for you to share 🙁
If that didn't work he'd go for your eyepads again but with claws! You soon learnt to wake and feed him!
Or worse they go for the family jewels. :crying:
Now that will get your attention :pinch:
Far away is close at hand in the images of elsewhere.
Anon.
May 21, 2009 at 7:08 am
Help, he is back!
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