Are the posted questions getting worse?

  • jasona.work - Tuesday, May 23, 2017 7:17 AM

    GilaMonster - Tuesday, May 23, 2017 7:01 AM

    Next long weekend here is 3 weeks away (16th June). Pity, because I could really use an extra day off.

    "Hey, boss?
    /hack cough wheeze
    I'm not feeling so hot, I don't think I can make it in today
    /cough cough, hack
    Yeah, I know it's a Friday...
    Yeah, I know it looks like it's shaping up to be a beautiful day...
    /wheeze cough cough
    No, I'm really not feeling well...
    OK, yeah, I'll work on getting better, I should be
    /cough cough
    back on Monday.
    Thanks
    Bye"

    /Gail then rushes out the door slinging her golf clubs over her shoulder to make a 10:30 tee time

    Need doctor's note to take Monday or Friday off sick (and it's heading towards winter here)

    Gail Shaw
    Microsoft Certified Master: SQL Server, MVP, M.Sc (Comp Sci)
    SQL In The Wild: Discussions on DB performance with occasional diversions into recoverability

    We walk in the dark places no others will enter
    We stand on the bridge and no one may pass
  • Neil Burton - Tuesday, May 23, 2017 7:10 AM

    rodjkidd - Tuesday, May 23, 2017 6:57 AM

    jasona.work - Tuesday, May 23, 2017 6:30 AM

    So, for those in the US, any big plans for the upcoming long weekend?

    Me, I'm going to be painting our bathroom (oh fun,) and building some shelves for our cats to get up on to look out a window when they want.

    Enjoy the painting Jason!

    Its a long weekend in the UK as well.
    So I'm going to some gigs. I know, I'll give you all some time to pick yourselves off the floor.
    Simple Minds acoustic at the London Palladium (oh fancy)
    Paul Rodgers honouring his Free back catalogue at the Royal Albert Hall (oh fancy again)
    And I'm also going to the Pink Floyd Exhibition at the Victoria And Albert Museum.
    I'm guessing the security will be increased after the attack in Manchester.

    Rodders...

    I've got a 40th birthday on Friday, then stuck in on Saturday waiting for a new oven and broadband router.  At least I'll have time for the hangover to clear.  After that we're off to Scotland camping for a week which should be good.

    It's chaos in Manchester at the moment, there's roads closed all round the city centre.  It seems every five minutes there's a helicopter buzzing overhead.  The latest news is there's been somebody arrested near to my sister's house.

    It's a bit scary in the respect that I walked through those doors myself two weeks ago.  It really brings it home.

    Last I heard, a 23yo bloke was picked up in Chorlton by armed bizzies - about the only part of Manchester that I know.

    β€œWrite the query the simplest way. If through testing it becomes clear that the performance is inadequate, consider alternative query forms.” - Gail Shaw

    For fast, accurate and documented assistance in answering your questions, please read this article.
    Understanding and using APPLY, (I) and (II) Paul White
    Hidden RBAR: Triangular Joins / The "Numbers" or "Tally" Table: What it is and how it replaces a loop Jeff Moden

  • GilaMonster - Tuesday, May 23, 2017 7:01 AM

    Next long weekend here is 3 weeks away (16th June). Pity, because I could really use an extra day off.

    June 16th?  They have a holiday for my birthday in South Africa?  Gee, I feel important!

    Michael L John
    If you assassinate a DBA, would you pull a trigger?
    To properly post on a forum:
    http://www.sqlservercentral.com/articles/61537/

  • GilaMonster - Tuesday, May 23, 2017 7:43 AM

    jasona.work - Tuesday, May 23, 2017 7:17 AM

    GilaMonster - Tuesday, May 23, 2017 7:01 AM

    Next long weekend here is 3 weeks away (16th June). Pity, because I could really use an extra day off.

    "Hey, boss?
    /hack cough wheeze
    I'm not feeling so hot, I don't think I can make it in today
    /cough cough, hack
    Yeah, I know it's a Friday...
    Yeah, I know it looks like it's shaping up to be a beautiful day...
    /wheeze cough cough
    No, I'm really not feeling well...
    OK, yeah, I'll work on getting better, I should be
    /cough cough
    back on Monday.
    Thanks
    Bye"

    /Gail then rushes out the door slinging her golf clubs over her shoulder to make a 10:30 tee time

    Need doctor's note to take Monday or Friday off sick (and it's heading towards winter here)

    Oops, forgot you're in the Southern Hemisphere...
    Hmm...
    /Gail looks at her offhand, with a hammer in the other hand
    /Think long weekend, think long weekend
    *SMASH*
    "Boss, I won't be in tomorrow, I had a horrible hammer accident and might've broke a finger, I'm going in tonight to get it checked out.  I'll be in Monday, and I'll have my Dr note with me."

    You know, I'm not sure what fall-weather stuff you could be doing there...
    Here, it could be a cider mill trip (mmm, fresh cider and donuts...)

  • Michael L John - Tuesday, May 23, 2017 8:15 AM

    GilaMonster - Tuesday, May 23, 2017 7:01 AM

    Next long weekend here is 3 weeks away (16th June). Pity, because I could really use an extra day off.

    June 16th?  They have a holiday for my birthday in South Africa?  Gee, I feel important!

    Are you sure you want to be associated with it ....

    16 June [Youth Day]

    In 1975 protests started in African schools after a directive from the then Bantu Education Department that Afrikaans had to be used on an equal basis with English as a language of instruction in secondary schools. The issue, however, was not so much the Afrikaans as the whole system of Bantu education which was characterised by separate schools and universities, poor facilities, overcrowded classrooms and inadequately trained teachers. On 16 June 1976 more than 20 000 pupils from Soweto began a protest march. In the wake of clashes with the police, and the violence that ensued during the next few weeks, approximately 700 hundred people, many of them youths, were killed and property destroyed.

    Youth Day, previously known as Soweto Day, commemorates these events.

  • Neil Burton - Tuesday, May 23, 2017 7:10 AM

    It's chaos in Manchester at the moment, there's roads closed all round the city centre.  It seems every five minutes there's a helicopter buzzing overhead.  The latest news is there's been somebody arrested near to my sister's house.

    It's a bit scary in the respect that I walked through those doors myself two weeks ago.  It really brings it home.

    Be safe, Neil.

  • Ed Wagner - Tuesday, May 23, 2017 8:27 AM

    Neil Burton - Tuesday, May 23, 2017 7:10 AM

    It's chaos in Manchester at the moment, there's roads closed all round the city centre.  It seems every five minutes there's a helicopter buzzing overhead.  The latest news is there's been somebody arrested near to my sister's house.

    It's a bit scary in the respect that I walked through those doors myself two weeks ago.  It really brings it home.

    Be safe, Neil.

    Thanks Ed, I actually work some way from the city centre, although my sisters are there, and I live way out in the surrounding hills.  It's just very strange seeing places I recognise and know well in this kind of situation.  

    The problem with these bastards is the only way to stay safe is not go out because they don't care where and who they kill.  I'll be more vigilant and careful but I'm not going to let the fu*kers win.


    On two occasions I have been asked, "Pray, Mr. Babbage, if you put into the machine wrong figures, will the right answers come out?" ... I am not able rightly to apprehend the kind of confusion of ideas that could provoke such a question.
    β€”Charles Babbage, Passages from the Life of a Philosopher

    How to post a question to get the most help http://www.sqlservercentral.com/articles/Best+Practices/61537

  • jasona.work - Tuesday, May 23, 2017 6:30 AM

    So, for those in the US, any big plans for the upcoming long weekend?

    Me, I'm going to be painting our bathroom (oh fun,) and building some shelves for our cats to get up on to look out a window when they want.

    spread stuff, cut stuff, fix stuff, cook stuff

  • jasona.work - Tuesday, May 23, 2017 8:18 AM

    You know, I'm not sure what fall-weather stuff you could be doing there...

    Finishing up my Pluralsight course.

    Gail Shaw
    Microsoft Certified Master: SQL Server, MVP, M.Sc (Comp Sci)
    SQL In The Wild: Discussions on DB performance with occasional diversions into recoverability

    We walk in the dark places no others will enter
    We stand on the bridge and no one may pass
  • Neil Burton - Tuesday, May 23, 2017 7:16 AM

    Eirikur Eiriksson - Tuesday, May 23, 2017 7:12 AM

    jasona.work - Tuesday, May 23, 2017 6:30 AM

    So, for those in the US, any big plans for the upcoming long weekend?

    Me, I'm going to be painting our bathroom (oh fun,) and building some shelves for our cats to get up on to look out a window when they want.

    Weekend's task, breaking in the Pizza Oven
    😎
    Gardenline Pizza Oven

    Ooh shiny.  I want one of those but I've only got a small backyard (in the stone-flagged Northern England sense) and there's already a bike, charcoal grill and an offset smoker in there.

    Should not have posted this, now there is a queue of Italians outside my door asking when the pizzas will be readyπŸ˜€
    😎

  • Eirikur Eiriksson - Tuesday, May 23, 2017 9:18 AM

    Indeed, lets all raise an eyebrow in honour of Roger!

  • I appear to be in a very strange mood at work today.
    The company also uses an external company for remote DBA tasks, so we stepping on each others toes a little.
    They raised an issues about log backups. I'm in the process of deploying Ola's scripts out. Set up the Log one but missed a couple of things. Set the schedule to infrequently for their liking, and forgot to set the cleanup time (that was silly of me)
    So another ticket was raised.

    I replied with 'a more pleasing frequency to the schedule has been set'.
    I should have said ascetically pleasing frequency... But oh well.

    A reply of excellent we shall close the ticket unless you have any other questions...
    Why was my first thought to reply with
    'What is the air-speed velocity of an unladen swallow?'
    πŸ˜€

    I didn't obviously!
    As I said odd mood today.

    Rodders...

  • Well, that was a fun hour and change...
    One of my QA servers, a virtual machine on VMware, had around 11GB of it's 16GB of RAM swapped out to disk for no apparent reason by the VMware.  Neither I nor the VMware Admin wanted to just power off the server, so we waited for the console login to complete (only took around 30-40 minutes,) then we tried rebooting.  Which didn't resolve the problem...
    So while it was still trying to get past the initial bits of Windows startup we just hit the power-off option...
    Once we powered it back up, everything was fine again.

    So now I'm going to try to get all or some of the RAM reserved, which I'm not super-hopeful I'm going to get in QA as the 16GB of RAM I've got is about 1/2 what the hosts have in them.
    Production I can probably get my RAM reserved though, those hosts have a lot more RAM...

  • rodjkidd - Tuesday, May 23, 2017 10:00 AM

    I appear to be in a very strange mood at work today.
    The company also uses an external company for remote DBA tasks, so we stepping on each others toes a little.
    They raised an issues about log backups. I'm in the process of deploying Ola's scripts out. Set up the Log one but missed a couple of things. Set the schedule to infrequently for their liking, and forgot to set the cleanup time (that was silly of me)
    So another ticket was raised.

    I replied with 'a more pleasing frequency to the schedule has been set'.
    I should have said ascetically pleasing frequency... But oh well.

    A reply of excellent we shall close the ticket unless you have any other questions...
    Why was my first thought to reply with
    'What is the air-speed velocity of an unladen swallow?'
    πŸ˜€

    I didn't obviously!
    As I said odd mood today.

    Rodders...

    That's cute.  Of course, they would have gained points if their response was "African or European" back to you. πŸ˜›

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