April 28, 2009 at 10:24 pm
GSquared (4/28/2009)
ROTFLMAO. All I could see was the commercial on TV where people started throwing candy bars at the deer!
I don't watch TV, so I have absolutely no clue what you're referencing here. But I'm glad I was able to provide some amusement and comedy out of the tragedy that is josephtran's latest attempt at SQL.
You know, I can think of some one else that, IMHO, ranks right there with our favorite White House window washer, and here is his latest post.
The desert isn't big enough at times.
April 29, 2009 at 12:30 am
Lynn Pettis (4/28/2009)
You know, I can think of some one else that, IMHO, ranks right there with our favorite White House window washer, and here is his latest post.
Ah, yes. Our PhD candidate.
The desert isn't big enough at times.
It's getting a bit crowded too
Gail Shaw
Microsoft Certified Master: SQL Server, MVP, M.Sc (Comp Sci)
SQL In The Wild: Discussions on DB performance with occasional diversions into recoverability
April 29, 2009 at 4:14 am
Bruce W Cassidy (4/28/2009)
[font="Verdana"]This morning I had an idea. After I had had a bit of a sit down to recover from that novel feeling, and to reassure myself that I'd soon return to my normal state of empty headedness, I decided to ask a question here.That question is in regard to articles. I've read a lot of (excellent, not so excellent, occasionally funny) articles on this site, and they tend to be aimed at the technical stuff.
Is there a good range of design or data architecture articles? If so, can someone point me to them? Failing that, would they be a good topic for me to write? I'm not feeling up to the technical challenge of competing with some of the gurus here (Paul White's doing a fantastic job of representing the country!) But I do have a fair amount of experience in the design/architecture area.
Good idea, or bad?
[/font]
Sounds like a great idea to me.
----------------------------------------------------The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena, whose face is marred by dust and sweat and blood... Theodore RooseveltThe Scary DBAAuthor of: SQL Server 2017 Query Performance Tuning, 5th Edition and SQL Server Execution Plans, 3rd EditionProduct Evangelist for Red Gate Software
April 29, 2009 at 4:20 am
Could do with a trip to the Gobi? he he
Could do with the rest (and tan), but it's only one way!!
"Any intelligent fool can make things bigger, more complex, and more violent. It takes a touch of genius -- and a lot of courage -- to move in the opposite direction." - A.Einstein
April 29, 2009 at 4:24 am
RBarryYoung (4/26/2009)
(copied from my blog):For anyone who has been wondering where I've been, let's jsut say that it has been an eventful two weeks. I am writing this now from my hospistal bed, which it turns out is very difficult, so please forgive any errors.
I gave my SQL Injection speech two weeks ago (which I think that I did blog about). Then part one of my series "There must be fifteen ways to lose your cursors" was published over at SqlServerCentral.com to a firestorm of response (over 300 posts so far). Then I gave speech on the same topic to Philly.net code camp to very favoarable reviews (so far anyway).
Then last monday I had to go to the ER for intense stomach pains that were diagnosed a Gallstones. Tuesday I go to see a Surgeon about getting my Gall bladder removed. He schedules me for surgery on May 4 and puts me on an "Absolutely no Fat or Glycol" diet, meaning fruits, vegetables, water and skim milk only. Joy!
Thursday I have to leave work with stomach pains so bad I almost don't make it home. Then I have my younger son, Chris drive me to the ER again. They say that is is another Gallstone attack but as an added bonus I now have pancreaitis too.
They say they cannot remove the gall bladder until the pancreaitis goes away, but it is taking its own sweet time. So on monday they will do some surgical procedure to relieve the pancreaitis and assuming that goes OK remove my gall bladder on tuesday.
Of course part 2 of mu series comes out on Monday, so I guess that Jeff and Lynn and Gus and the others will have to field the questions.
Hopefully, I will be back soon ...
Not trawling for sympathy on anything folks, just wanted to make sure that you knew what the story was...
Didn't go over the thread for few days and catching up now. I hope that you'll get better soon and won't have to see any doctors or hospital soon again.
Adi
--------------------------------------------------------------
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http://www.sqlservercentral.com/articles/Best+Practices/61537/
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http://www.sqlservercentral.com/articles/SQLServerCentral/66909/
April 29, 2009 at 4:38 am
Bruce W Cassidy (4/28/2009)
[font="Verdana"]This morning I had an idea. After I had had a bit of a sit down to recover from that novel feeling, and to reassure myself that I'd soon return to my normal state of empty headedness, I decided to ask a question here.That question is in regard to articles. I've read a lot of (excellent, not so excellent, occasionally funny) articles on this site, and they tend to be aimed at the technical stuff.
Is there a good range of design or data architecture articles? If so, can someone point me to them? Failing that, would they be a good topic for me to write? I'm not feeling up to the technical challenge of competing with some of the gurus here (Paul White's doing a fantastic job of representing the country!) But I do have a fair amount of experience in the design/architecture area.
Good idea, or bad?
[/font]
Hi Bruce!
I just want to confirm the others. Sounds like a great idea!
Greets
Flo
How to Post Data/Code to get the best Help How to Post Performance Problems
April 29, 2009 at 6:14 am
Lynn Pettis (4/28/2009)
You know, I can think of some one else that, IMHO, ranks right there with our favorite White House window washer, and here is his latest post.The desert isn't big enough at times.
And he's worried about being "unique" on this site? Personally, if I were he, I'd want to remain as anonymous as possible! 😉
http://qa.sqlservercentral.com/Forums/Topic661095-61-1.aspx
-- You can't be late until you show up.
April 29, 2009 at 6:28 am
And he's worried about being "unique" on this site? Personally, if I were he, I'd want to remain as anonymous as possible!
Heh!
Pork Chops don't care for Uniqueness or Anonymity 😛
Far away is close at hand in the images of elsewhere.
Anon.
April 29, 2009 at 6:38 am
Lynn Pettis (4/28/2009)
You know, I can think of some one else that, IMHO, ranks right there with our favorite White House window washer, and here is his latest post.
The desert isn't big enough at times.
Hey at least he posted sample data and code. That's a step in the right direction.
Jack Corbett
Consultant - Straight Path Solutions
Check out these links on how to get faster and more accurate answers:
Forum Etiquette: How to post data/code on a forum to get the best help
Need an Answer? Actually, No ... You Need a Question
April 29, 2009 at 6:50 am
Hey... what's an "UPDATE" ?? Can I use it to increment a date?
__________________________________________________
Against stupidity the gods themselves contend in vain. -- Friedrich Schiller
Stop, children, what's that sound? Everybody look what's going down. -- Stephen Stills
April 29, 2009 at 6:55 am
Bob Hovious (4/29/2009)
Hey... what's an "UPDATE" ?? Can I use it to increment a date?
Not in 2005.
2008 SP1 adds a much-requested feature so you can just highlight a word like UPDATE and hit F1.
Oh wait...
😛
Paul White
SQLPerformance.com
SQLkiwi blog
@SQL_Kiwi
April 29, 2009 at 7:17 am
Bob Hovious (4/23/2009)
My topic would more likely be... Laughable SQLOther contenders:
Sensual SQL (potential best seller title here, Jeff take note)
Cooking with SQL
Why isn't there an SQL equivalent to Iron Chef? That would make for an interesting competition. Instead of a mystery basket of ingredients, the competitors get an inherited database with really bizarre schema, and equally bizarre requirements... then given an hour to code. Judges would rate the solutions on speed, flexibility, innovation, etc.
And the secret ingredient is . . . . you have to use a cursor!
[evil cackling] :hehe:
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How best to post your question[/url]
How to post performance problems[/url]
Tally Table:What it is and how it replaces a loop[/url]
"stewsterl 80804 (10/16/2009)I guess when you stop and try to understand the solution provided you not only learn, but save yourself some headaches when you need to make any slight changes."
April 29, 2009 at 7:19 am
Bruce ... Go for it...:-) Then I can learn some stuff from that article... 🙂
-Roy
April 29, 2009 at 7:23 am
Hey Bruce,
I would encourage you too!
You seem to have me all wrong by the way 😀
Paul
Paul White
SQLPerformance.com
SQLkiwi blog
@SQL_Kiwi
April 29, 2009 at 7:27 am
GilaMonster (4/25/2009)
WayneS (4/25/2009)
2. For the slowness of the reports, he was copying the tables needed for a specific report to a temp table (he did not add any indexes to them). He would then proceed to delete out the records that did not match the filter criterias. One criteria at a time. (Most of the reports ran off of the three biggest tables in our system.) When he finally finished all of that, he would take the remaining records and put them together to send to the application.Well, that's a novel way of doing things. Slow, stupid, but novel.
I've seen similar things done, just not as extreme. Load up a temp table from somewhere (often XML). Delete invalid rows and then process the rest
This sounds exactly like our developers. I hand them a single SELECT for them to automate, they rebuild it into the construct mentioned above, although with an added step of building a base record set using half the criteria, then compare it to the record set with the other half and deleting anything that doesn't match. They use one permanent table, not specific to user or connection, only holding the name of the report and the parameters, so that if more than one user runs it at the same time, parameters overlap. Takes twice as long to get the wrong data.
Then they wonder why the business doesn't use all of their fancy reports.
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How best to post your question[/url]
How to post performance problems[/url]
Tally Table:What it is and how it replaces a loop[/url]
"stewsterl 80804 (10/16/2009)I guess when you stop and try to understand the solution provided you not only learn, but save yourself some headaches when you need to make any slight changes."
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